


Nobody Really Likes These Things Anyway

by notnowcommander



Series: Two and a Half Steps [4]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Babes enjoying married life, Domestic Fluff, F/M, office Christmas party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-26 16:46:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13239900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notnowcommander/pseuds/notnowcommander
Summary: Kaidan and Shepard have some expectations for Kaidan's office Christmas party: open bar, awkward dancing, and plenty to discuss at the water cooler on Monday. But their night ends up taking a very different turn, with some exciting news.Set in the Two and a Half Steps universe, post-fic, featuring some fluffy domestic married life and shenanigans.





	Nobody Really Likes These Things Anyway

Kaidan’s first office party was just a few months after he was hired at Ascension. It was a summer luau bash at a country club, and he wasn’t really sure what to expect. He’d gotten to know his co-workers just fine, and had asked around, but he still felt like an awkward soccer dad putting on a pair of pastel shorts and a polo shirt to go. It had taken several fruity beers that he didn’t particularly like in order to not feel like a weird newbie, and he’d regretted his decision to not bring Shepard immediately. 

The first time he’d brought her along to an office party was the annual Christmas party, three years ago. He’d been hesitant at first, hearing stories about how wild they got. The company always held the Christmas parties at a swanky hotel nearby, with open bar, and all invitations had a plus one option. All of his cube-mates had pressured him into bringing his “elusive fiance” to the party, otherwise they’d go on believing she was fake.

Considering it was Kahlee Sanders who offered him his job, he expected that Anderson would be joining her, and had probably passed the word along to Shepard. Sure enough, one night she’d come home from work and confronted him about why he hadn’t asked her to go yet. He’d awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, as he usually did, and confessed that he didn’t want her to think he was a dork. She’d responded with a kiss, and told him it was a bit too late for that.

That year had been relatively tame, and Kaidan had proudly showed her off to his work friends, and she happily flaunted her engagement ring and talked about their wedding plans. It’d made him so happy to see her excitedly talk about getting married, and he was still getting used to calling her his fiance. His friends had teased, and poked fun, wondering how a dork like him managed to get such a great girl, and not only that, convinced her to marry him. He was still wondering the same thing.

But things had changed in the past three years. Shepard was no longer his fiance, but his wife. Miranda had joined the company, which now meant James was a regular at company events. The gang had teased Ashley that she needed to find a partner at the company so she could come along, and it would be just like old times. Granted, Ashley always managed to find her way to the Alliance gym parties. She just spent these evenings texting them all and reminding them she was bored without anyone to hang out with.

As they stepped into the lobby, Kaidan took Shepard’s jacket and she shivered, and quickly pulled him close by the coat check. He slid his arms around her and kissed the side of her head.

“I should have worn tights,” she mumbled.

He glanced down and smiled. She was wearing a stunning, velvet cocktail dress, a deep Christmas-y red, and she’d left her hair down and wavy for the night. He thought she looked beautiful, but she’d clearly been fussing with her appearance all night, and her mood was just slightly off. A little agitated, and not so much like herself. She didn’t usually get nervous about these things, but if he happened to notice her still nervous later, he’d be happy to head home and make her more comfortable.

“Let me know if you want my jacket, okay?” he said.

She gave a content smile and nodded. “Okay. Come on, let’s get inside.”

She took his arm and led him into the bar area, where she suspected they’d find James and Miranda. Sure enough, the two of them were already getting cozy and tossing back drinks together. 

“Oh finally!” James said. “Now the party can really get started.”

Miranda rolled her eyes. “Right, because I’m just not fun enough.”

“That’s not what I meant. Just… okay, you know what, a round of shots.”

Shepard cleared her throat. “You know what, I’m good. I don’t need one.”

James narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean ‘you’re good’? Nothing, Lola?”

She smiled and shook her head. “No I’m taking it easy tonight. Maybe I’ll let Kaidan have some fun and watch over him.”

“Hey, I wasn’t that bad last year,” Kaidan said.

“No, behavior wise,” Shepard reminded him. “But then you spent the entire next day in bed, when it was your turn to do dishes. So, not this year.”

James ordered them a round of tequila shots, and Kaidan picked his up. “Yeah, well, I might need a few drinks if people try to talk to me about work before Christmas break.”

Miranda rolled her eyes. “Ugh, god.”

She threw back her shot at that.

“Work parties are good,” she started, “until people actually begin to talk about work.”

“It’s how you know who isn’t really that fun. Who talks about work when you’re supposed to be getting drunk,” James said.

Kaidan leaned over to Shepard and slid his arm around her back. “What can I get for you, baby?”

She smiled and leaned into him, happy at his touch. “Just water’s fine for me.”

He got her drink for her, and while James and Miranda were distracted, he turned to her. Kaidan slid one hand to the side of her cheek and kissed her forehead.

“You okay?”

She smiled back up at him and stepped closer. “I’m fine.”

He stroked his thumb against her face, waiting a moment to see if she’d change her answer. When she didn’t, he finally smiled back.

“You look gorgeous.”

She looked away, blushing. Kaidan laughed under his breath and guided her eyes back to his.

“See? I can still make you blush.”

She leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his lips. “I love you.”

“Love you too, baby girl.” 

 

***

Shepard was seriously hoping she’d be able to shake off her anxious mood. She expected to be around friends and family and feel at ease and remember that whatever concerns she had were going to be there when she and Kaidan returned home for the night. She knew that it was something they could lay in bed and talk about, snuggled against one another and work through as a team. But she’d never been that great at holding things in.

“Hey,” she said, reaching under the table to take Kaidan’s hand. She glanced down as well, setting her sights on his wedding ring. She never got tired of looking at it, and there was something so sexy about it. He never really took it off, and he wore it proudly. He never made jokes about having a nagging wife, or called her the “ball and chain” - as far as she knew - and it seemed like he actually  _ liked  _ being married.

“Hi,” he whispered

“Come dance with me,” she said, tugging him away from the table. He smiled, and followed her to the small dance floor. It was still somewhat early in the night, and the music was still calm. People seemed to be pacing themselves at the open bar thus far, Kaidan, James, and Miranda included.

She slid her arms around his shoulders and pulled him close. She swayed him to the somewhat douchey techno Christmas music. He didn’t seem to mind, and gripped her waist to keep her close.

“You’ve been quiet,” he pointed out.

She shrugged. “I guess.”

“You know, if you’re not up for a party, we can always go home-.”

“Kaidan, no, that’s not-.”

“I’m just saying,” he continued, “I wouldn’t be that angry if you wanted to go home. I could at least take these pants off and sit in bed. You could be saving me from becoming  _ that guy  _ at the office, if I do something stupid tonight.”

She smiled back. “Come on, you’d never be  _ that guy _ . I think you’ve got a pretty high bar to beat. Like that guy last year who puked on the dancefloor.”

“Mm,” he grumbled, “yeah, Dave.”

“Yes, him. I don’t want to go home though. Just… got some stuff on my mind.”

“Such as?”

She swallowed, and shook her head. “It’s okay. It can wait.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he said, picking her chin up to look at him. “You know it doesn’t have to.”

She gripped her fingers around the curls at the nape of his neck and moved closer to him. He held her tightly, protectively cradling her against his chest. Whatever she needed, he was going to be there, and he wasn’t going to back away.

“I… I think I might be pregnant.”

She watched him swallow, but he stayed silent for a moment. His eyes fixated on her, and there was some tenderness in them. She knew what this meant to him, and she knew it wasn’t the first time she’d said the same words. But something felt different now.

“Jane-,” he started.

“I know what you’re going to say. But this is different. It feels different. Look, okay, I’m three weeks late, and I haven’t felt quite right. And I mean, I don’t know if you’ve noticed the size of my boobs lately, but-.”

Kaidan nodded, but looked away. “Yeah, I noticed.”

“And you didn’t say anything?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, no, it would have felt rude.”

“We’re  _ married _ .”

“Okay,” he said, “you’re right. Three weeks  _ is _ a long time.”

“I know,” she said. 

He paused a moment. “There’s a CVS down the road.”

“We don’t have to leave a party to go find out. Nothing will change if we wait until we get home.”

“But I don’t really want to do that. And I can tell you don’t either.”

She swallowed. “Yeah.”

He gave a soft smile and squeezed her hand. “Okay, then let’s go.”

 

***

 

Jane imagined this being just a little bit different. She’d always imagined maybe a doctor’s appointment, or the privacy of their own home. And of course, it wasn’t too late for that. They could always ditch the party and go home, but that wasn’t on the agenda.

“So, which one do you usually…”

Shepard glanced up at Kaidan. “You’re asking me what my preferred brand of pregnancy test is?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. You have a preferred brand of tampons you like.”

She crossed her arms. “Kaidan, you do know that these two things serve somewhat different purposes, right?”

He rolled his eyes. “I know that.”

She reached for one of the tests on the shelf and looked up and down the aisle for people watching. At least they looked nice, and put together. She wasn’t sure why she felt so uncomfortable doing this, especially since it wasn’t the first time. She’d bought two before, in the past year, and Kaidan had bought one on his way home from work, and one time she’d just gone for a test with Doctor Chakwas. But it was a similar feeling to having to buy anything remotely uncomfortable at the drugstore, like medicine for stomach problems or picking up a Viagra prescription.

“You’re worried about people staring?” he asked.

She nodded. “Yeah. It’s one of those weird judgy things, you know? Like when the cashier looks at you buying condoms and just  _ knows  _ you’re getting laid.”

“Or not,” he said, “could be buying them just as positive visualization. Someone talked about that in one of their decks this week at work. I’m taking it to heart.”

“Well, I’m sure whoever made that PowerPoint is silently thanking you now.”

Kaidan guided her over to a self checkout station and scanned the box for her. He quickly paid and shoved the test into one of his jacket pockets, making sure it was covered all the way.

“I didn’t realize this was some kind of stealth operation.”

Kaidan laughed and shook his head. “I’m just trying to keep it a little bit classy here. I could wave it around when we walk back in, if you want?”

She shook her head. “No, I think I can live without that.”

Kaidan grabbed the string of coupons printing from the machine and scanned them over. “Oh good, look, we get four dollars off our next pregnancy test. If this one comes up negative, we gotta make sure we have this sneaking suspicion again before… January eighth.”

Shepard rolled her eyes and laughed. “Yeah, note to self.”

 

***

They stepped back inside the hotel, and headed toward the bathrooms. Kaidan held the door open for her and let her enter first. She stepped inside one of the bougie looking stalls and Kaidan waited outside by the sink. He leaned against the granite countertops and tried to not show his own anxiety and eagerness. The past year had been an up and down roller-coaster of excitement and disappointment. There’d been multiple moments just like this one, all of which ended in disappointment, and a resolve that it just wasn’t the right time perhaps. He wondered how many more times like this it would take before it became a blame game.

“You good?”

There was a frustrated sigh, and then, “I know how to pee, okay?”

“Alright… just checking.”

Kaidan heard a flush and Shepard opened up the door. She tossed the test on the countertop and washed her hands, but clearly looked frazzled. Kaidan looked over at the door and locked it before anyone else could come in. He returned to her and rested his hands on her sides. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She leaned into him and shut her eyes. 

“Whatever happens, you know we’re going to be okay.”

“I know,” she whispered, and turned around. She wove her hands around his shoulders and the curls at the nape of his neck. “I just want to stop feeling disappointed. Disappointing you.”

Her eyes watered, and he wiped away the tear that dripped down her cheek with his thumb, and kissed her forehead. 

“You could never disappoint me. Never. I married you because  _ you  _ were the one I wanted to spend my life with. And I know that whatever life we have together, even if it’s not exactly how we imagined, it’ll be great.”

She nodded and leaned her head against his chest. He cradled her close against his chest and kissed her head again. She sniffled away her tears and gripped at the fabric of his button down tighter.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too, baby girl.”

She picked her head up and checked the mirror to make sure her makeup still looked okay, and reached for his hand again. She laughed and shook her head.

“What?” he asked.

“We’ve just totally ditched this party for this.”

Kaidan shrugged. “Nobody really likes these things anyway.”

She smiled. “I think they’re kinda fun.”

She took in a deep breath and glanced back at the test on the counter. She swallowed, and hesitated to look at it.

“Want me to do the honors?”

Shepard nodded, and let him pick up the test from counter, and glanced over it. She refused to look, and crossed her arms. He waited another moment, knowing she was eagerly waiting for him to be the bearer of bad news. He took a long look at the small screen, and narrowed his eyes. 

“Good lord, is that a… a pentagram?”

“What?” she asked. “You’re not serious-.”

She grabbed for the stick, and instead, he turned the test around to show her the small positive sign inside the screen. She took a moment to look it over, letting it sink in. He wondered if she was thinking over all the ways it could be a false alarm, or how effective these tests really were. The seed of doubt in her brain was so strong lately that it didn’t surprise him she couldn’t believe it. 

“I… What does that mean? Is there like a symbol key on the box or something?” she asked, stumbling over her words.

Kaidan held her closer. “It means we’re having a baby.”

Shepard let out a sigh of relief and leaned into Kaidan with a smile. “God, finally.”

Her eyes watered and she let a few tears leak down her face, still holding onto him closely. Kaidan held her tightly and pressed kisses to the top of her head. Shepard finally looked up and kissed him back, pulling herself closer to him.

He brushed away the tears on her cheeks and cupped her face. He’d spent so long waiting for her to feel this kind of happiness, and to know what their future would look like, and he’d always imagined it being somewhat different. Maybe something more professional and private, but he couldn’t deny that this felt just as good, just as perfect as anything else. 

“Do we tell everyone now?”

Kaidan shook his head. “Nah, let’s just let this night be for us. They’ll figure it out soon enough. So, what do you say to a nice celebratory toast?”

Shepard giggled and wiped the rest of her tears away. “Yeah, right.”

He kissed her forehead again. “Right. Then I’ll have two for you.”

“Alright,” she agreed. “Then I’ll just expect that tonight you’ll be  _ that  _ guy at the awkward office Christmas party.”


End file.
